New month, new me! 

How long has it been since COVID-19 started ruining our lives? Luckily, Thailand seemed like it managed the pandemic cases well, given that we can already go around, no more curfew or lockdown since May. Although there are still some restrictions, we are now able to roam, sort of freely, as long as we have our masks on. 

When they announced that non-essential establishments are back in business, the first thing I did was book a salon appointment (I would not, for the life of me, cut my hair on my own. I've done that in HS, never again!). I also made a trip to some of the nearby places I can check out in the city, just to get out of my home. 

One day, my condominium management announced that there would be some 7-hour blackout for some maintenance, so I was forced to kinda go out. Thought it would be an excellent opportunity to explore Bangkok. However, given the excruciating heat, I ended up going to one of my favourite places here, Bangkok Art and Culture Centre. 

Near Siam Paragon/Discovery and MBK, the art centre is easily accessible by BTS Sukhumvit Line and is just within the city. So off I went. Here are some pics! 

Ok, that's it!

I don't know about you, but when my company asked us to start working from home, I got excited about the idea. We normally have a twice-a-month work from home schedule, which I always look forward to, but not expecting it to be months indefinitely. No more waking up extra time to prepare (I'm very slow in the morning) and no need to wear make-up. Woohoo!

However, as months passed by, I started looking at my unused make-up products. I began missing getting ready in the morning that I can't believe that what was once my most tedious routine became one of the things I look forward to now. Also, just the thought of not finishing my beauty products made me feel like I am wasting them.

So one day, I picked them up again — started with my lip tint, then moved to blush. Now, on some days, I'd use lipstick. And I can't believe how happy it made me. Got excited to choose and wear a different colour, even though I'm just at home. And boy, putting some colour on my face made a huge difference in the way I look in video calls, haha!

As things start to go back to normal here in Bangkok, we are now required to go back to the office twice a week now. And I can say make-up routine has renewed my energy to go back to the office. It is now actually one of the things I look forward to when I prepare in the morning. Meanwhile, on days I stay and work at home, I still put some effort to put on light make-up: blush and lip tint are my go-to's (together with SPF!).

The next part will be lengthy, but you've made it here, so let's talk about the specifics.

In case you're interested, here are the products I have been using lately:

 

After using a drugstore brand for quite a while, I realised that I'd still go back to my favourite concealer, despite the price. The one I used before often left my face looking cakey at the end of the day and clings to my dry patches (shout out to my fellow combination skin!). However, Nars Soft Matte Concealer (I use the shade Ginger) stays put and doesn't emphasise them. Don't be fooled by its packaging though. I can use one tub for months even if I use it every day, making it a worth it buy. Ah, it's a miracle in a little pot.

I have also been using multi-use products in cremes because I think that's how you get your money's worth? I use the BLK Multitasking Colour Stick in Cocoa for my contour, but you can also use it for eyes and lips! It's creamy, but you can blend it easily with your fingers, brush (I prefer to use an angled brush) or sponge so don't worry about looking muddy or dirty.

Meanwhile, in the same hardworking philosophy, my Mac Glow Play in So Rosy Does It is my favourite shade for my cheeks! You can quickly diffuse the colour if you want it to look natural or pack on the product to make it pop. Like the previous products mentioned, you can use it in several ways: as your eye shadow, blush, and lip stain. I sometimes use this product alone when I need a quick pick me up or don't want to put much effort, but still want to look put together for my video calls, haha.

 
I have a ridiculously hyper-sensitive skin around my eye area, and when I use a product that doesn't sit well with it, all hell breaks loose. I am glad I found these products that are easy to use and has not aggravated my skin yet — cross fingers!

Another BLK product (seriously guys, check this Filipino brand out, so good!), my Universal Brow Stick in Natural Brown is by far, the best eyebrow product I've used. It's a two-in-one product: one end has the eyebrow pencil and eyebrow mascara on the other. The pencil is simple to use and easily retractable if you need more. With a light-handed application, you can fill in your brows without looking heavily drawn (my fear!). Meanwhile, the mascara helps you achieve that brush-up brow effect while keeping them in place all day. It doesn't clump your brows as well, so you have natural-looking eyebrows. You can use both or one of them to achieve the effect you want. Usually, I use the mascara first, then fill in with the pencil. You can just imagine how this product has helped me make my brows look neat even though I haven't had them groomed for a long time because of the stay-at-home restrictions!




My mascara and eyeliners were recent purchases, and they're from Uzu by Flowfushi (formerly Mote). I'm not a fan of thick lashes, but I like them long — and this Micro mascara gives me that. As someone with sensitive skin, it doesn't take me much to remove this product, all I need is warm water to wash it off. I also like the sleek packaging because I'm a sucker for aesthetic, lol.

Meanwhile, the Uzu Flowushi's Eye Opening Liner is so, so good for someone who hasn't done eyeliner before. I'm so bad at putting eyeliner, but this one, because of the soft, calligraphy-like brush, glides so smoothly, making drawing effortless. Like the mascara, it comes off with warm water, too and doesn't require much rubbing. One thing though, it's not long-lasting, but that's OK for me. And finally, we have reached my favourite part: Lipsticks!

My favourite hobby during quarantine was to swatch my lipsticks. I even send photos to my best friend KZ, and she would tell me that all my lipsticks are in the same shade — that is true.

I currently have more than 10 in my collection, but these four are in my constant rotation.
No solo pic, but I finish off everything with my trusty setting spray, the Urban Decay All-Nighter. I've been using another one for a long time, and I can assure you that this cult product does what it says. I've gone to lots of parties, have walked around under excruciating heat, and have worn mask almost whole day outside, and my make up stays in place. Amazing!

I've said so much in this blog when I just wanted to introduce my current fave beauty products. Haha, please share yours with me, too! I'd like to know what you're using :)

And I couldn't be happier. 

The last few weeks have not been the best for me so far. 

If I am being honest, which what I a going to do now, I have been slacking off in some aspects of my life. Things that have brought me relief and happiness previously have brought no solution. 

I hate this slump, which I have been having for three weeks now. It's mostly worrying about what's happening back home and around me. Waking up thinking about negative thoughts immediately. It's not a good habit to start your day with social media; with that, I've told myself to cut some time online and devote it to things that will take my mind off for some hours. Picked up drawing again and practising on the iPad (woot, thanks to Procreate!), I've also managed to finish books in between (yes, ok, mostly audiobooks), and have gone out once at least in a week to see the world outside my house. 

I look forward to better days, weeks... and hopefully, out of this rut soon. 

By the way, if you haven't heard yet, my friends (Lian and Sam) and I just started doing a podcast. I know, crazy, I don't like the sound of my voice, though. I get too loud or harsh. 

Anyway, we call it The KTM Podcast — Kape Tayo Mars. It's a weekly pod talking about anything and everything. We've managed to come up with four episodes now and recording a new one this weekend. 

This was our episode last Sunday. We talked about dating apps!

Here are the links and do give us a shout out if you like it!

"No, no, no, listen" "No, listen to me" "How can you say…"

These are just some of the most common phrases I hear on my team. Being the only girl and probably the only one who has zero knowledge on programming (ok this is not true anymore, I probably have 20% knowledge now), I have been dismissed quite often in both professional and personal discussions. Generalisations about women, uninformed opinion about my nationality… the list goes on! Somebody even said that he just wanted to see me pissed off.

Why do you want to see me pissed off? I don’t get it.

To be fair, my male colleagues are hella helpful. But, there have been a lot of instances where the word ‘NO’ has been uttered. Not just once; there were times when ’NO’ has been repeated several times as if I don’t get it. And every time I want to say something, be a part of a discussion where I know I am knowledgeable about, I am put down.

"That does not count."
"No, I think…"

And every time this happens, I feel like my idea is immediately shut down. I face people who do not look convinced—a smirk, a look of discontent, a shake of the head.

I may come off as ranting. I don’t even know if I am too sensitive (should I question my feelings, now?) But honestly, I have never felt like a second-class in a working environment before.

And what pisses me off is the effect of their actions on me. I doubt myself. I question myself—did I talk too much? Did I go overboard? Was it something I am not supposed to say? Should I even be in this conversation? Why am I even here?

Phew, all these questions. I can just imagine a lot of women going through the same bullshit every day.

I just wonder, in a modern world, where humans—regardless of race or gender or religion — should already be equal, why are we, women, still experiencing this? If women are not being objectified in the office, we are being shut down?

Not only that, when a woman has an opinion and is trying to prove their point, why do some men think that she is ‘angry’? Why can’t she say what she feels without being thought of as a monster, a bitch, or “just some angry woman”?

A quick search on Google and you’ll find a lot of write-ups about the unpleasant experiences of women in the office. One article from the Telegraph even mentioned that being a ‘token woman’ in the office made someone ill.

A study conducted by Indiana University found out that:

‘Token’ women – those working in a predominantly male environment - were observed to display less healthy patterns of cortisol throughout the day, due to negative working conditions. The study indicates that these stress levels relate specifically to interpersonal stress (as opposed to the stresses of the job, or the individual’s personality type).

Why should women be subjected to this condition? 

This is not, by all means, an attempt to trample men, nor to step down to the level of disrespect. I think it all boils down to listening to people—again despite race, gender, or religion—and merely understanding them. I don’t know if I can do anything about what you personally think of the people similar to me or of me, but at least, try to listen and respect the person, regardless of your opinion (or your gender).

The moment you utter the word ‘NO’ in an open conversation, it’s already turning down another person’s idea. What’s more, if you say ‘NO’ in a manner of degrading another person’s opinion or abilities, you are shutting down a voice that matters—maybe not to you, but to others. Perhaps not to you at present, but maybe in the future.


***

"A men’s role in feminism is to elevate women. People listen to men more often, and more diligently, and less critically, and I think the more space men can make for women to say things and have power, the better. It’s just, lift up your sisters, lift them up, give them space." 

— Akila Hughes, writer and comedian

Till next time!