These thoughts came to me around 3.30 this morning. I am not sure why and how, but I had the urge to write about them instantly. But I didn't because sleepiness took over and I thought that maybe if I don't remember it when I wake up, it's probably not worth blabbing about.

But I still remembered.

I am talking about my feelings for Gone Girl, not the book, but the movie directed by one of my favourite directors, David Fincher. It stars Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike as the doomed Dunne couple. If you have read the book, you would say that it's better than the film. I have heard this several times, but cannot really attest, as I have not finished it and went straight to see the movie version. So I will not touch how the film seemed to hurried everything and packed most of the story in two hours (or depending on which version you have seen).

Initially, the movie got cancelled for release in Malaysia, due to its graphic and sexual contents. According to Twentieth Century Fox, the film's distributor, in a response to a question posted in their Facebook account, Gone Girl was "taken out of the release plan here (Malaysia) due to the excessive censor cuts required, which significantly affect the movie experience." It came as a big surprise however on the last week of November, when they announced that they are finally showing an 'International Cut' meaning there was a 'way around' showing the significant moments in the film without (too much) cuts as one would have expected. Still, a supposed better version came out online on Friday, before the movie hit local cinemas.

Although I initially wanted to watch the movie on the big screen, it was a good thing I did because I was terribly disappointed. Fincher and I have gone a long way. From the Fight Club to Se7en (so awesome!), my favourite, Social Network and also Girl with Dragon Tattoo, which were both adapted from books. I had high expectations for Gone Girl. Firstly, because it had an all-star cast, 2/3 of my dream team (Fincher with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross), and everyone was buzzing about the movie. I even threw a small fit when they did not show it in Malaysia at first because I have waited for it.

But I guess despite the good reviews and high ratings, the film still felt lacking. In the beginning, it was long and dragging and it reached its high point when they finally showed Amy (Rosamund Pike was so good, I think she was the saving grace of the movie), then towards the end, it felt flat. Ben Affleck did not at all move me, even during the confessional part. I did not feel any sympathy when he lost his wife, or mad when we learned he cheated. The character was a little undeveloped. Affleck is not a bad actor - he got me on the edge of my seat when I watched Argo, but he did not shine in the movie the way Pike or Neil Patrick Harris did. If he did not play the lead character, his appearance to me was forgettable - even his penis and ass (which were much talked about) were, too.

So when I learned that the movie and Affleck got snubbed in this year's Golden Globes, I thought it was another injustice. But then again, the movie proved that they did not deserve to be on the list. Let's see if it gets nominated in the Academy Awards. 

Maybe this is me coming from too much hope to disappointment. A lot of people might disagree with me. I don't know. I'd like to know what you think.

Let me just say that I don't like missing anything, especially if I know my closest friends are talking about it. Like this movie, Begin Again, for example. Not sure why I didn't watch it here in Malaysia. Anyway, was it shown here?

Okay, like TFiOS, I have only seen it this weekend. Out of curiosity, I searched for a copy online, in the hopes of finally watching it. And I did. And you know what, good thing a. I woke up early to have so much time and b. I have so much time to download it and I remembered I wanted to watch it.

It starred Mark Ruffalo, Kiera Knightley, and Adam Levine (in a role not too far from his American Horror Story acting debut (?), as a dick~). The movie is feel-good, musical rom-com/ drama. Something perfect to watch when you're alone and needs some cheering up. Well, it was not really a cheery movie - because it started with heartbreak, job loss, misery, whatnot and it built up its story in the middle and eventually to their own ever afters... And there was singing. A lot of singing. 

Good thing the songs were not pop-ish. Not that I hate pop, but you know that would be cheesy. Except for one song with a remix, everything else was fine. I am actually playing the songs kind of~ over and over this weekend. But Spotify ruins the moment playing random pop songs in between the real songs. GAIS SERIOUSLY, I like pop song, but don't you hate it when Spotify decides to be an ass, all sappy then BOOM KEISHA. Anyway, I also liked that the last part of the movie does not seem to have closure. That all characters (except probably Mark Ruffalo's) had open-ended endings (oops, spoiler?). 

I now see the fuss about the movie. It's typical, scaled to a grander proportion, yes. A guy broke a girl's heart. She got even and that makes it quite relatable. The heartache, the losses, the gains, the feeling of just being free. Also, don't you just want to be around the city, singing like you don't care. I would do that. Please give me a band. 

PS. Oh My God, Kiera Knightley's character's fashion style is ZOMG. 

I decided, a few months after everyone has seen it, to watch The Fault in Our Stars. You know, that tear-jerker book written by John Green turned into a movie by Josh Boone. 

I got the extended movie version and sat through 2 hours plus waiting for a moment to shed my tears. But it didn't come until the last few moments of the movie when Hazel Grace (I still think this name sounds blah) read a 'eulogy' written by Augustus (this, this is an awesome name) which he sent to Peter Van Houten (played by the wonderful Willem Dafoe). I will not spoil anything to those who have not seen it or read the book. But it was that killer moment from this cryfest movie that got me. 

I was told that if you're a fan of the book (I admit I am), the movie would suck in comparison. But it didn't. I actually thought it was good. Shailene Woodley was a good casting decision. Not sure Ansel Elgort (?) was okay... But if you've seen Divergent, you would know why I feel this pairing is kind of icky. 

Also, 'Boom Clap' was so fit when they arrived in Amsterdam. I feel I would do the same when I get there. 

I hope you're not waiting for life reflection and/ or realisation like this is kind of a reaction paper. Unfortunately, this is not. I just wanted the world to know that I finally saw TFiOS. 

Thanks.

It's that time of the year when TV show junkies and couch potatoes rejoice as Fall line up gets pumped up again with a multitude of comebacks and newbie series. 

Personally waiting for my favourites 30 Rock, which goes on its sixth and final season (sobs), New Girl (can't get enough of Schmidt!), SNL, Bang Theory, Smash, Glee, Modern Family (!!!), and Gossip Girl (heard this will be its last season too, which is a good thing). 

Aside from the shows I regularly watch, I am also watching the new kids on the prime time block, including The Mindy Project and The New Normal. Other than these shows, I am also waiting for Mad Men and Girls as they get back on with their next season next year. Although I didn't list some of the other favoured shows, I am sure there are a lot more good stuff coming back this season (HIMYM, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Up All Night, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Community, Once Upon A Time, and a whole lot more!) Can't help but say, there's so much good stuff on US TV!

As much as I try~ to acquaint myself with Philippine TV from time to time, local TV shows' predictability and rather stupid plots are real turn-off. Drama with recycled plot and merry-go-round scenarios pollute our screens, giving a fine definition to the word boob tube. Network wars succumb to ratings battle, with unimaginative stories and rip-offs. The rather useless remakes of international TV shows are frankly quite a waste of show time. While I believe there are so much talent in local industry, Philippine TV needs to push boundaries and work on new materials. Not a lot of people want to see rags to riches, girl from barrio story anymore, or family feud overtaken by forbidden love, or revenge story lines with killer~ dialogues. I wonder when will the daily teleserye, telenovela, telepantasya,  and other tele-insert-your-owns for the sake of (or lack of) "originality" stop and give way to fresh materials every day. When will our nightly TV habit have a variety of shows we can indulge, talk about, and anticipate WEEKLY rather than daily. 

It's nice to reminisce the night during the 90's. Mondays were devoted to well-written political satire Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata, Tuesdays to crazy Palibhasa Lalake, Wednesdays to Oki Doki Dok, Thursdays to family comedy Home Along the Riles, and Fridays to the funny skits of Bubble Gang. I don't remember watching artista wannabees, scripted reality contests raking millions from text votes, and everyday drama shows.

Not too much to ask, but I wish to have the same enthusiasm with local offerings as much as what I currently have with US TV shows. The joy of anticipating for next week, looking forward to new seasons come summer or rainy season, and a feast of Filipino television delights every night. 

Yesterday, probably without the so-called decision-making skills, I've decided to buy the entire Sex and the City series, yup from season one to six. Partly because I was feeling off (also the reason why I decided to go out alone) and maybe also because of the conversation I had with my father last Sunday. He told me if you've been working hard, you've got to reward yourself. So I did. If I go broke for few weeks, I'll just say I'm an obedient daughter.

Money makers might think that DVDs don't cost as much now as it did before. True. I got my set 75% cheaper than the original cost, but still if you're no longer living off from your parents' allowance, giving off thousand bucks would mean a lot of things. Plus, I also bought three CDs and another DVD. Heh. 

This afternoon, I decided to 'test run' the DVDs and watched season one and midway season two. Actually, I've started with season one last night, but was too sleepy to finish the entire box set so I continued today. I remember watching Sex and the City in grade six and unbelievably not bothered with the (ehem) scenes. I remember looking up to Carrie and as funny as it seems, she's one of the reasons why I wanted to be a writer. I thought writers lead a glamorous life, drinking with friends, beautiful shoes, and getting swept off by their own Mr. Big. Of course, that was the naive me. Until my Senior high school English teacher told our class one day that one of the poorest careers in the world are writers (journalists in particular) and I distinctly remember that on that moment, the entire class zeroed their eyes on me, as if judging me with my choice of career. 

Naturally, as an ambitious teenager, I was determined to shoo away the naysayers and go on with my dream, to become a Carrie Bradshaw/Christian Amanpour. Okay? Fast forward to today, I'm single, not having sex with every single man I've met, and still doesn't have my Manolo Blahnik, only Blah-life.

So, as I go on with my DVD marathon, I started getting annoyed with Carrie. Episode after episode, I started to think why I chose to be Carrie Bradshaw. True, some five-six years ago, I wanted to be like her. I actually thought my ex-boyfriends are like Carrie's ex-boyfriends and that my Mr. Big and I are just on a hiatus right now (because we aren't talking). But right now, as I sit on the couch, watching, I always end up cringing in everything she does with Mr. Big. If some people would think Mr. Big was a jerk, I'd say Carrie's a bitch. Like this one time when she's asking him to come and join him to this party and told her he can't (but Big did come afterwards) or that time when she went to church because she wanted to meet his mother. Why? When Big didn't want to say that she's the one, because quite frankly, how does one know that you're the one in just few night outs and sex? Really? The list of "WHY CARRIE" scenes continues on. Currently, they are back together. Ugh.

Carrie's character is neurotic. I don't know, but if I base it on the book (Carrie Diaries) maybe the reason why Carrie's acting that way is because her high school sweetheart left her or that she has become jaded in relationships in her 30s and just wants to get marriage done (contrary to what she said in one episode where she said that she isn't the marrying type. We all know she got married in the movie though), but still, I still don't get her during the season one and (midway) two. I just don't. 

I'd like to finish season two tonight and see what my 16 year-old self liked so much about Carrie Bradshaw and what makes my 22-year-old self hate her. Truth is, the 22-year-old me likes Miranda more, though she dated the weirdest men and is a bit cynical about love. 

And just when I thought I won't be talking to my Mr. Big...

Weeks after downloading (and saving in my flash disk), I finally got to watch Catfish, the other movie about Facebook. Of course, we all know about The Social Network, the Academy Award and BAFTA nominated, Golden Globes award-winning film about the founding of today's leading social networking site. We got to meet Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin, the Winklevoss twins, the inspiration Erica Albright, and other highly illuminated characters. Facebook has made a huge impact in the way we socialize and has made the world smaller than what it seems. It has made us closer to anyone, virtually, just with an internet connection and the power (guts) to click "Add as a Friend."

Catfish, unlike TSN, did not employ seasoned actors. Instead, it has Nev Schulman, NY based photographer who met Abby, a young girl from Michigan through their exchange of messages in Facebook. Armed with their own equipment, Schulman, together with his brother Ariel and friend Henry Joost chronicled the entire "made from the pc" friendship with Abby and her entire family. The (totally) attractive Schulman eventually fell in love with Abby's older half-sister Megan and that's where the plot thickens. What happened next will either creep you out or fascinate you. I won't spoil you with so much information, as the movie is better watched than told. Just to tell you, the documentary (a fact still very much doubtful) encapsulates a relationship of meeting someone online, the validity of their identity, and the situations that may be raised (or not at all) after you "confirm."

Then it hit me. 

Nakakatawa eh. Kasi naman, sabi ng prof ko sa Spanish, break lang daw kami from the leccion. Pero natuluyan din sa gabfest na walang katapusan. Sa klase ko, maski kami-kami din nagkikita halos araw-araw (dahil blockmates lang naman lahat kami) pagnagkwentuhan, parang wala pa ring preno. Hindi ko alam ano pumasok sa utak ni Señor, naasar ba s'ya sa ingay namin at gusto n'ya na kami i-dispatsa o talagang wala na kaming lesson. Ano man ang dahilan, masaya ako at natapos na din yung klase na yun.

Nung break namin, nagkadesisyunan na maghulaan ng kapalaran. Oo na, ang mga Catholics, hindi dapat naniniwala sa mga hula. Pero astig kasi yung classmate ko e. As in, mga 90% accurate ata s'ya sa hulaan. Last time, gumawa kami ng magazine at ka- grupo ko s'ya tapos nauwi lang sa hulaan yung overnight na dapat para sa magazine namin. So far, nangyari lahat ng sinabi n'ya sa hulaan portion numero uno namin. Kaya 'di ako nag- atubiling magtanong ulit sa kanya.

Ano pa ba ang kaakit-akit na tanungin kungdi, tungkol sa pag- ibig. Kaya natanong ko:

Sino ba sa kanilang dalawa?
(dahil 'di ko alam pano sasabihin ang nais ko sanang itanong)

Ngumiti s'ya at sinabi sa akin na hindi yun ang tanong ko talaga (WTF! Alam n'ya ah!) Ang tanong ko talaga ay:

Sino ang magtatagal... in a long run?

Sabi n'ya sa akin, may gusto daw ako na dalawang lalake. Silang dalawa may pagkakaparehas- artistic at torpe. Yung isa, gentle at s'ya daw ang gumawa ng paraan para magkalapit kaming muli (meaning, comeback of the year ang isang ito) at yung isa, sabi n'ya ay si Badboy ('di ko alam kung ano lumabas sa palad ko at nasabi n'ya na badboy ang isang ito). Siya daw ay intense sa kanyang craft at ako ang gumawa ng paraan para magkalapit kami. Silang dalawa nga. Walang duda.

Sinabi sa akin ng kaibigan ko na wala daw sa akin ang control sa mangyayari sa sa kung sino mas sa dalawang yan. Silang dalawa ang magdedesisyon at wala akong magagawa dun. Ang AHA! moment daw ng kung sino mas sa kanilang dalawa ay between Summer at pag tugtong ko ng fourth year. Ang sad. Tagal ko pa malalaman. AT WALA PA AKONG KARAPATAN PARA GUMAWA NG MASKI ANO! Tss. Badtrip.

Naalala ko, nung huling beses na tinignan n'ya ang palad ko, wala rin akong control sa mangyayari sa amin nung huli kong tinanong (isa din sa mga lalaking yan ang involved sa unang hulaan). Hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong choice.

Pero knowing me. Hehe...

Kaya nagtanong na lang ako ng ibang bagay.

Ano ba ang magiging itsura ng future husband ko?

Nakakatawa. Sabi n'ya sa akin, ang asawa ko daw, matalino, hot, at gwapo. Yung tipong pag nagusap kami, may mapapagusapan talaga kami. He used to smoke daw, pero hihinto s'ya para sa akin. Tipong dream boy ko, ganun. Except that, MERON S'YANG BIGOTE. HAHA! Hindi ko naalala na nagkagusto ako sa may bigote. Ewan ko. Ang kati kasi nun, 'di ba? Tas ang gaspang pa. Dyahe. Pero sabi n'ya sa akin, si future hubbie daw, tipong Aga Mulach-ish, Richard Gomez- ish. Aba! E kung ganun naman, ang swerte ko na!

Nakakatawa. Iniimagine ko na mukha ng hot ko na asawa. Grabe. Kanina, lahat ng makasalubong kong may bigote, tawag ko boybigote. Baka pala nakita ko na s'ya at 'di ko lang alam 'di ba?

Hay naku, sana si boybigote ko ganito itsura:

O 'di ba? Solb na. Gusto ko na makita si boybigote! HAHA! :D