Wednesday, June 30, 2010

There's a Reason why It's Locked

I say I don't procrastinate, but tonight I did. 

It's just one of those rainy (okay not so rainy now) nights when instead of working, you'd rather snuggle up in sheets and read something brainless. So I ended up going to my former blogs and read all the senseless stuff I have written eons of years ago. 

My first (and probably the last for tonight) stop is livejournal. Weeks ago, I planned to look for a place where I can write things I wouldn't want to share to the entire universe. I know, if I had wanted to keep things from myself, I would have just bought a journal and write away but then I remembered I already have a journal that still works. But I thought I am more of an internet person and would rather have a place to type my "secret" thoughts away than write it all out. So I went to my old unused LJ account and look for a probable place and boom! I think I found the perfect blogsite. 

I started blogging in LJ during 2006, when most of my friends had blogs that were locked and were intended for invited readers only. I liked the idea of having something locked for a change so I made an account and typed all my blues away, in Taglish (WTF right?)

Entries were filled with a lot of unnecessary rantings, those that my 2010 self would find a bit shallow. My LJ was more about infatuation, thoughts of being in love, pile of schoolwork and endless quotable quotes I wonder how I accumulated. At times it was funny to read what I had written, and there were those that made me squirm and thought, "what was I thinking?"  

But there were entries that actually struck me. Like how I asked about life and my thoughts on love (basing on different experiences I had). How I went through a painful moving- on phase with someone who I thought was in- love with me and how the simplest things made me happy. It was fun to discover that despite the three- four years, I still want the same things, like karaoke nights and gigs. Things I used to do that I can no longer do now.  

Probably of all my blogs, LJ and I had a deeper connection. It has kept all my secret YM! conversations, my hopes and desires. Those that I'd rather not tell everybody, but myself. 

So after all the teary eyes from all the laughing, I've decided to write again in my LJ. But this time, I am keeping everything for my eyes only. Not that I don't want to be judged by the thoughts that at 21, I still accumulate mundane ideas. I just want a place where I can vent out and be silly again without people calling me stupid behind my back. In LJ, at least, the only person I have to please is myself. 

Everything else is LJ locked.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

And it was all Yellow

I went to an exhibit yesterday for an upcoming article for a luxury business magazine. Although I'm not really the type to go to fancy, shmancy event such as the one last night, I decided to take the article because number one, I've never been to anything like that and number two, I wanna see paintings that I could hopefully get some inspiration with.

My favourite. Too bad I forgot who made this one.
So despite the pending heavy rainfall (that's according to google weather) I dressed as "smart casually" as I could and went to Philam Tower to attend the opening of Yellow Paintings exhibit at the Tower Club. The exhibit is a collection of paintings done by 15 renowned artists which highlights the colour yellow, signature shade of the late president, Cory Aquino. This is a part of an outgoing tribute to the former leader and her legacy of restoring democracy in the country.

It was my first brush with the society's who's who. Most of them left who? in my mind. I know a few of them went to us and introduced themselves (or somebody introduced them) but I'm not so good with names, only faces (which I know I should improve from now on!) The experience wasn't that bad. I especially felt I belong when I was ushered to the media group and met an editor and writers, amused with how young I was and my recent graduation. They even shared stories about how they started in the industry and gave me ideas, which are actually really helpful. Someone even said I looked kind of unaffected with what was happening, when in truth I was really overwhelmed. And the food was great- Kwek- Kwek, Smoked Bangus, shrimp, etc. I did not get to drink though. I was afraid that if I drank there, I won't be able to go down from 33rd floor or won't be able to go home. But I enjoyed my bottomless Coca- Cola.

I have few photos of the paintings in the exhibit. But so clumsy of me to lost the list of  artists who made which paintings.

Yes, this isn't a painting and this isn't colour yellow.
It's just pretty, can't help but take a photo.
Organized in cooperation with Galleria Nicolas, the exhibit runs from June 25 to July 8 at the 33rd floor Philam Tower, Paseo de Roxas, Makati City. Paintings are for sale and the proceeds will be given to their beneficiary, Chosen Children's Village Foundation.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Let it All Be Said

There are just few points I have to say before I go into a crazy bitch mode because there are several things going around my head for the past couple of days and I doubt that if I don't blurt it all out, I'll totally go wacko. Save for my best friend who knows everything about what I am going to say. This may come out as a senseless ranting or just another stuff for you to read, but this is a big deal for me (well somewhat).

If you plan to be my future husband, be warned. I tend to dissect popular culture a lot and get annoyed every now and then so if you plan to stay with me, be ready.

Here are the things I am dying to say:
  1. Charice is now part of Glee. So a few weeks ago, Philippine Daily Inquirer broke the news about Charice Pempengco joining the hit TV show Glee. According to the reports, the news came from her manager. Later that day, in her twitter account, she said the information isn't true. This even got her manager fired, supposedly for coming out with the false rumours. Until yesterday, a news came out that Charice is now officially part of the show and guess what, SHE AUDITIONED. Never mind if the last part isn't true, but what's totally mind boggling is that Filipinos detesting the idea saying she's not fit for the show, her diction is awful and she can't act. 
    Who are these people to judge what she can and can't do? Just because she's not your typical tisay actress or you don't find her pretty doesn't mean she can't do any of these. The kid worked her way up to where she is. She deserves everything she has now and all you do is to loathe at her success. Maybe there are some room for her to improve, she has to learn diction, acting workshop etc. We can't go and say "she'll ruin the show" or "I'll stop watching if she joins." You are fucking kidding me. You think you know better, you think you can sing better, you think you are better? Why don't you audition? Instead of gloating. Ah people. You cannot please everybody. So Charice, just do what you have to do, I'll still watch Glee. We'll see how you'll work your way in the upcoming episodes. Haters, go to the left. 
  2. Some people who keep on blabbing and they don't know what they are talking about. Sheesh. You can actually read before opening your mouth or better yet, don't open your mouth at all. In today's world, there are a lot of sources you can check out to learn about things and it's just sad that you don't use any of these. I thought you knew better. It goes to show that you only do that for show and nothing else. In Deutsche, zum Schweigen bringen! Go, look that up!

  3. Germany going up against Ghana. I know I should be sleeping. I have like TONS of things to do tomorrow, but the anxiety is kicking in. I don't know. I should be prepared. If Germany wins, this will call for a celebration. If they won't, well... I'd be depressed. I mean it. 
I didn't think I'd end up writing more about Charice. But yes, I had to say it. A former classmate has gotten into my nerves for saying "What the Fuck" when she heard about it. Yeah, that classmate is just too awesome.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Some Post

Right said Carrie
This is a screen cap from one of the episodes of Sex and the City. I was going over photos in my Tumblr dashboard when this particular photo appeared, as if telling me something that I needed to gamble on.

I was never the scaredy-cat. In fact, among my group of friends, when they needed someone to do a dare or someone who needed to talk to somebody everyone seems to be afraid of, they would always volunteer me or my friend Cha to do the act. All the dirty work are left to us. On most days, I step up and do the deed. But if there is one thing I am afraid to do is to admit my feelings. 

For a couple of times now, when I remember instances I did tell someone how I felt about them, things get a bit uneasy. I don't know if I was too straight forward or they were a little intimidated of girls telling how they felt. Sometimes, it goes my way. But there are instances that it wouldn't and that's when I feel a bit scared. 

The thing about feelings is that I think it shouldn't be kept to yourself. I mean, it's meant to be expressed and feelings can be said in so many things. But it just so happen that there are things that are pushing you away from doing so. Like for instance, losing a friendship.

I have always felt that people are meant to stay with you because they are made to be with you. Either you like it or not, there are times when somebody would show up unexpectedly and would bring something good or awful. But there will also come a time when an action can make them leave or if not entirely leave, things will change drastically between the two of you. 

That is something that I am afraid to happen between us. 

I've never entertained the idea of risking the friendship we built for more than a decade because of the butterflies in the stomach or the blushing every once in a while. I don't want things to get ruined because of stupidly admitting feelings. 

But at the back of my mind, I think, if I never risk it and go with what I am feeling, will I lose everything and more? This is starting to get into shape and if I didn't risk this and be afraid, what would probably happen? This person has been one of the best things that ever happened in my life and I know I don't want to lose him. He has been with me for a very long time and I don't know what I would do if ever he goes away. That has not happened ever and I just couldn't imagine if it does.

So I toss and turn, thinking, should I gamble on it?

If he stays, he stays. If he doesn't, well as hard to think as it is, then so be it.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I was going to reflect, but...

While watching the 2010 Worldcup and seeing Germany, my team getting kicked in the ass by Serbia in today's first game, I suddenly realised I am not the type of person who accepts defeat easily. 

In the few minutes left for the game, Germany's star player (and super hot) Lukas Podolski tried his best to save the game, at least ending it with a draw. But despite the efforts exhibited by the entire team (even losing Miroslav Klose in the first half, thus having an incomplete lineup for the rest of the game) mannschaft was not able to make any play.

My heart sank, my head started spinning. I was never this attentive to any sports before. I was near to tears. This is the first time that it ever happened. Until now, I admit I have not recovered yet. Germany is the sixth best team in the world, Serbia is, I don't know. But they got defeated! 

I know, I have a point here somewhere, but I lost track of it when I started telling how Germany got defeated and somebody in Formspring asked about my feelings towards their loss. I was going to say something, but I ended up getting sad again. 

Germany will be against Ghana in their next game, the team that defeated Serbia in their first. I hope Australia wins their game versus Ghana. They so need to win.

Felt extra bad that I didn't get to go out with someone because I was so psyched to watch this game. What a useless evening.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Of 112 Independence Day "Celebration"

Can somebody explain why the government needed to spend PHP 10 Million in yesterday's independence day celebration? Not to kill the festivities, but to use that much of money for parade, which nobody really took time to watch (except maybe if you're a fan of Alfred Vargas and Valerie Concepcion), is just pointless. 

I'm no art connoisseur, but the floats they made (which according to some reports amounted to PHP 300, 000 each) are not at par to any floats featured in Rose parade. And even if they did great in the production, this still does not compensate the fact that this outgoing government has fucked up our lives for the last nine years and they still have  faces to spend millions over nothing. Even if they continue to hide the irregularities they committed over grand celebration of "independence," this country needs that money so much more for a lot of useful things. There are schools needed to be built, debts left to be paid, mouths still waiting to be fed, and a lot more things worthy of the 10 Million. 

If this government knew how the people loathe them so much for the past couple of years, they could have saved their asses off if they'd rather spend the money to help people rather than help their image. Today's celebration made them heroes for doing roads, "improving" economy, "helping" the people which they don't really have to shove to our faces because it is their responsibility to us. It seemed that we are supposed to show gratefulness to what they did, when in fact it is their obligation. 

I wonder how these people get to sleep at night. When most people would rather sleep on empty stomach, hoping they'll have something to eat tomorrow, these government officials would rather send the money down the drain doing lavish celebrations. Poor, poor nation.

It is probably indeed true that this decade's new independence day is on June 30, when we're finally free of GMA's administration to welcome Aquino's, but with the PHP 400++ Trillion left, still to be paid, are we really truly free?

May we all feel the true essence of what it is to embrace our freedom.

And GMA should remember not to remove her cover up and that pink and red (as a combination for top and slacks, respectively) is not camera friendly, unless she's doing a dance number. 

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Selfish Gene

Disclaimer: This isn't about the book by Richard Dawkins, so spare me. I lack the talent to come up with witty titles on most days.

On certain events when my father meets his doctor friends and talk about their children, I feel a bit indifferent. I feel like I'm out of place when they start talking about their offspring following their lead in medicine. They'll start talking about how their children manage their clinic and they're now on semi- retirement because they're sure someone's going to take care of the business. 

Then the conversation would turn to me, with his colleagues asking what I take up/ took up in college. 
Doctor: So, what's your course?
Me: Journalism
Doctor: (frowns a bit) Why didn't you take up Optometry or took up medicine?
Me: I want to write (smiles)
I've actually lost count of how many times this scenario happened ever since I started going to college. In my defence, I initially wanted to be an Optometrist because I know how much they make (hehe) and how lucky they'll get if they work abroad, but when I told my dad about it, he told me to think of other courses. I then thought of studying Architecture, because I've always loved houses, but then changed my mind when I realised how much math is involved. And since I love words and writing, I decided I should take up Journalism and never regretted the decision.

Probably until now.
Well, somewhat.

When I think about it, I feel kind of bad that nobody's getting Papa's office. I feel sad that we might end up selling all of his equipment because my siblings and I are so selfish not to think about them. I fear that what Papa established for over 40 years, will be put to waste because nobody wanted to take up Optometry. My (half) sisters took up Psychology, Education, Business Management, while my brother took up History. There's really nobody eligible among the five of us to run it, unless we hire someone who will do his duties come his retirement. 

But what I like about my dad is that even if no one among us took Opto, he's happy he was able to put all us to school until college without pushing us to something we don't like. In one of our recent conversations, he told me what's important is that I took up something I like and not because he told us to do so. He'd rather have us all selfish with out dreams rather than we do something against our will. 

That's probably one of the best things about him. I'm glad he's my dad, despite his temperaments. 

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I spent some huge amount of time looking at different bag contents over at Flickr. There were some who really had interesting bag contents, mix of expensive gadgets to beautiful notebooks. Some had a lot of make up and some had a lot of receipts, tickets, etc. What is fascinating about checking other people's bags is that you get a glimpse of who they are and what they do with what they bring with them everyday. You get to know what they do for a living, what they're usually occupied with and hobbies. You also see the person's personality, if they're OC or they're messy, sentimental or fuss free. 

For more than four hours, I've checked maybe a dozen or more bags with different bag contents. Most of them female (with really expensive make- up kits and designer bags), but there are also male owners (really cool gadgets! Some of them are really messy, but what do you expect, right? Kidding!) 

So I thought, I'd share what my bag contains most of the time (actually everyday since I can't remember). I lug around these stuff with me and I get to use almost all of them most of the time. It's always a wonder how my stuff can fit inside my Reebok carry- all which my mom got me few months ago. She said I always carry around heavy loads, no wonder some of my bags gave up on me. But this bag is really a wonder! I always use it ever since she got it for me.

When I'm really in a hurry, I tend to dump in all my bag contents and go. I usually fix them inside the car or if I'm alone, in a cab. That's why I rarely go out with out fixing it the night before so this won't happen. If you got tons of stuff like I have, it's always a hassle to fix it the last minute. 

So world, I am sharing my everyday things starting now!

Click to enlarge
Are the numbers visible enough? I hope they are.

  1. Moleskine Planner 2010- 2011: got this one yesterday. I just thought I needed a smaller planner to bring along with me, but I still use the one I got from Ms. Mariel
  2. Journal: I write down all my "secret" thoughts inside the journal. I plan to put my last will and testament there too.
  3. Book (The Carrie Diaries): I always bring with me a book so when I get bored, I have something I can pull out of my bag and kill time with. 
  4. Laptop and laptop sleeve: I got myself an HP- Mininote so I won't have to bring along big laptop all the time, plus it's so much lighter. 
  5. Laptop cord: In case I need to plug my laptop for charging (which rarely happens, I say)
  6. Candy: When I go out, I always, always get hungry so it's very important that I have something to eat. My candy of the month-- Sugus in Strawberry flavour
  7. Pair of Eyeglasses: This is, by far, my most favourite! It's from Benetton in colours black, pink, and a hint of canary yellow. It's so cute!
  8. Wide tooth comb: I know, I need a roller instead. 
  9. Umbrella: This is my most trusted umbrella, got it last year and hasn't been ruined ever since. I guess the Php 300++ is worth it. When you get an umbrella, make sure you invest on it (especially if you're living in Manila)
  10. Wallet: I used to have a coin purse, but my mom gave me her long wallet which I am truly grateful for because I felt I needed to use something grown up- py.
  11. Alcohol: Instant disinfection, you'll never know!
  12. Johnson's Baby Cologne in Heaven: I swear by this cologne! The only variant I use since I was a kid. I can't use perfumes because I am allergic to them. I only use baby cologne.
  13. Bodyshop Lip and Cheek tint: My favourite! I love how it's easy to blend even if you're in a hurry and it doesn't stay on your fingers, unlike some local brands.
  14. Bodyshop Concealer in No. 2: I had to buy a concealer after one of our dogs ate my last stick and I'm glad I chose this one. Smells terrific too!
  15. Pens and highlighter: Believe it or not, I use all of them! Stabilo highlighter is for my books, the chinese pen is for everything that needs to be jotted down, Dong- A 0.5 if I need to sign my signature, G- tech 0.4 for my planner, and the green one, I only use when I need a light (it's a pen + flashlight!)
  16. Globe Broadband dongle: When I need instant wi- fi
  17. Flash Disk: Something I got from Newsweek
  18. Mirror: Oh yes! I actually have one!
  19. Camera pouch: I learned my lesson, if I need to bring along my cam with me everyday, I must put it in its proper place to avoid getting LCD cracks again
  20. Nokia 6300: I LOVE THIS FONE!!! I have it since I can't remember. My dad actually gave it to me after someone got my fone at home and loved it ever since. Mobile web is awesome in this fone and the camera rocks! But I'm still thinking of getting a new one soon!
  21. Keys: House keys with Victorinox swiss knife which I got from my dad too. The leather keychain says "Apple and Eve" 
That's about it! I hope I get to see other people's stuff too and know the story behind each item!