Monday, May 17, 2010

Friends?

My friend Charlene would often say, "Bawal maging assumptionista."

What she meant by the word Assumptionista is people who assume too much, without getting facts straight. (I am guessing people will be googling for girls from Assumption San Lorenzo or Assumption Antipolo and would end up here thinking this is about them. Sorry, wrong page!)

We've encountered a lot of people who are like that, too full of themselves that they think everything is about them. As a certain song goes, "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you, you're so vain." That's why we coined the term, assumptionista, people making assumptions.

I personally dislike people who assume we're friends, even if we're not. I can be civil with people, but unless I tell you we're friends, you have no right to think we're already friends, most especially if I don't consider you one. It takes a lot to be someone's friend. Not because you're talking, it already means you're already chums. Not because you joke twice or thrice in your life does not merit friendship. There is such thing as aquaintance. Being an aquaintance and being friends are not the same. Check dictionary.

When you call someone a friend, it entails a lot of things, like trust and love. If you think I am your friend, you can say I am your friend, but I can't automatically call you mine, not until you've earned my trust and I have reached a certain degree of comfort with you.

I am not being high or stuck up, but I value my friends a lot, and for me, friends are not just people you meet and talked to for several times. Friends are those who have been with you through sweetness and shit. Those who won't blame you for anything. Those who won't shout at you or speak ill of you. Those who have seen you cried and get through it. Those who are not envious and most especially, friends do not hurt their friends.

I admit I have a lot of falling out with some of those people I thought were my friends through the years, maybe there really are people who are meant to leave you because they're not made to be with you. But I have some that has been with me for the past seven- eight years (hi dave! hi sam! hi charmaine! hi seth! hi donut club/ maldita!). I value them so much that I don't want them to leave. There are those who I am with for two- three years (hi lian! hi cha! hi mon! hi apol! ---and the rest of my college berks) and I am happy we consider each other as second family. It's more than just having things in common, or your past relationship. It's really more than that.

So if you read this, don't think we're friends if we aren't. And please, don't question my decision to think we aren't, it's my choice not to be friends with you. As the saying goes (or something like this), friends are your family that you were not born with. They are the people you chose to be your family. I don't want you to be in my second family, so I'm sorry, can't choose you.

peace.
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