Things have been moving slowly these past few days. I don't know what happened. The weird things is, even if I am an inch away from my friends who already have work, I still don't feel quite bothered of this whole workforce experience. I remember, towards the end of my junior year, about to start my on- the- job training, i was so psyched to work and get my own salary. But on days, when I'd rather lounge around the house and enjoy the few more weeks of freedom, I am slowly thinking of just having a few more months of not working. I have been working my ass off in school for years, don't I deserve any rest?
I am thinking of so many things right now. I am thinking of having an entire life overhaul. College had been so toxic, that probably if not for my friends, I would have not enjoyed it as much. I am thinking of going sabbatical. Of leaving and self- restoration. I don't want to bother people of my plans. I just want to rest from everything that's bothering me. I want to rest from You, from this heat, from everything.
If there's a chance, I want to get back to my first love, photography and painting. When these things used to cure me from heartache. I am guessing my tubes and films miss me as much as I miss them.
A few wants won't hurt, would it? I just want the old life back. So today, I vow to make things move on my own pace. Never mind the external culprits (such as You).
This is the part when I suddenly realised, I need work, just so I can have that distraction and finally make things move.