Thursday, October 28, 2010

In a Grown Up's World

If there is something I won't be afraid of, it's responsibility. Sure, I get nervous whenever I'm given something to take charge of, but I'm not scared to take the lead. Not to brag, but I was Class President almost all years in my school or member of Student Body (I was once the student body president y'all). I don't know what kind of vibe I give off, but I was always, always put in charge of everything.

So it did not surprise me when Ma and Pa decided that it's time I take responsibility of things at home, like bills for instance. I don't complain. I got cable and water bills which are nothing compared to our electricity and telephone bill, but still. I sometimes don't know how I can fit bills, plus the things I spend for work, plus my impulse book buying with my salary. I mean, I have decent pay, but with all these things, I don't know how much I'll be able to save up in case. It's not like when I was still in school, when I get allowance from Papa everyday. My money only comes every 15th and 30th of the month. 

You might think I am whining, but I'm not. In fact I kind of like that they gave me this so I'd learn how to budget my money. It's not like I spend on a lot anyway (for starters, I only spend a lot on books). It isn't bad to give a bit of my salary to them because it's just a bit of what they actually spent on me for the last 17 years. Imagine, 17 years! They could have bought a lot of other stuff with the money they paid for my school and other things I asked for (which isn't a lot actually).

So awhile ago over dinner, I told Papa that I'd like to add two more channels to our cable because I'm taking charge of the bill. Meanwhile, I will ask them to limit their bath time to five minutes, so we can conserve water and I don't have to pay much. 

I, on the other hand will shower for more than 15 minutes because that's one of the perks of paying for the water bill. 

I am serious. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Mandatory Birthday Post

It's on late night weekends like tonight when I am left with nothing significant to do, but to write something here. Things have been pretty great lately, except that I usually have no time for other things because of work. I can almost see myself sleeping through an entire week or not being bothered to wake up early, at least when vacation for a week comes. That we all have to wait for. If that happens, let's all rejoice!

Exactly a week after my rainy birthday and I still don't feel anything significant other than the books I accumulated, thanks to Apol and my best friend Lian who got me something I didn't wish for, but something I've always wanted to have, unknowingly. She gave me a book filled with love letters, enough to make me mushy (or squirm) while reading them. What I loved most was her dedication. Save for the useless dedication I persuaded an ex boyfriend to write in one of the books he gave me (which right now I wish he didn't write at all), I love all things personally written. This one in particular:
May you someday find your Mr. Big. In the meantime, settle for Beethoven.
"Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours"
That's actually my favourite, so happy she remembered it--- or I'll smack her in the face, kidding! Her gift, I haven't given her yet, because I was in a hurry and had a really bad morning last Saturday and stupidly forgot hers. But I hope she likes it.

We also had a party at RedBox Trinoma, because there's no videoke party like a "The Jeep Videoke party!" Okay, I hope that just made sense because I was laughing my head off writing that, in hopes of giving a Liz Lemon's mandatory party a run for her money.

So anyway, like some of the best parties we threw, it was (ahem) a success because,  there's no videoke party like a "The Jeep Videoke party!"--- I just wanted to repeat. Here are some photos from Saturday

Lol at this very random screen cap. It's so funny, right?
This is me, tryna be whatever. 
My best friends in the whole wide world, Cha and Lian
(plus Monica, but she was late)

Because we love taking photos

Fantastic weekend, yes?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

On Getting Lost

There are days when I wanted to get lost.

There were numerous occasions when I thought of going away for awhile and leave what I have right now to look for something. What bugs me is that I don't know what exactly I am looking for. This is probably the reason why this hasn't happened yet. I was thinking of going somewhere alone just for the sake of having time for myself. I forgot how it was to not think about anything, other than wandering off and getting lost. Lucky if I have money to spend  and a destination to go to. But if I don't, I go and find some bookstore. 

There were days when after a tedious day at work, no matter how tired I am, I would wander aimlessly, stopping by all the bookstores I can find and immerse myself to whatever I can get my hands with. I read books, those which are already ready for free reading. If I find a book that isn't open yet and it catches my fancy, I sneak in a corner and open it. In bookstores I can go to the past or fast forward to future. I can go back to high school or to my some home ticking off what I have already accomplished in my bucket list. I can jet set to fashionable cities of New York, Paris, Tokyo, Milan or I can go deep inside forest and scream my lungs out when I see the big, brown wolf.  When I have books, I get lost. I get into somebody's shoes and read their thoughts. For a moment, I almost feel like I was somewhere and someone else. Leafing over through pages and pages of happiness, misery, triumph, and despair. I'm lucky that characters in most of my books and I think the same way ... or It's just me thinking we're all the same? (What a selfish thought). All of these I can do, at the comforts of some couch, carpeted floor, or comforts of my bed. 

I get high smelling pages of books. A whiff of the book's paper gets me giddy. Sometimes, as weird as it sounds, I buy books based on how they smell. Often, I end up buying them regardless if they're already musty. What I like most is getting second hand books and ending up getting those that came from the other parts of the world. With small scribbles or underlined quotes from former owners. Makes me think why they did it. Funny how sometimes I find myself liking the same passages. It must be fate, or something. 

I was told to take care of my books. There are times when I would meticulously cover them, spending hours and hours of covering them with plastic covers. But now, I have my books uncovered. I like how the embossed covers feel as I run my fingers to each letters-- smooth or textured , soft or hardbound. One of the things I was told not to do was to highlight them. But I get the satisfaction of sliding my fluorescent marker across passages to remember them. Specifically, I use green highlighters. It actually started when I read about people communicating with their books. Some people write on the margins. Some people, draw around their books. But since I write in script, often messy handwriting, I opted not to write anything. Instead highlight whatever I find is interesting. I feel a different connection with my books when I do this. Years after I highlighted a portion and some of the colour has faded, I re-do the marking while remember why I ended up choosing the specific line. Today, I highlighted the words, "French, Feel, Finger, Fuck." Good alliteration. 

There are days when I wanted to get lost. 

If I could go somewhere, I would. But until that day when I can finally afford a plane ticket to some far off destination, I guess the books will do. 

Just so you know, right now I am in Culver Creek Boarding School, Alabama getting the shock of my life when I learned somebody died.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

It won't Hurt to Ask

Twenty-two isn't really a significant number, but it will be on the 18th.

I thought that no matter how many times I do wishlist, I never really get any of the things I requested, but I am trying to make one again, just to give hint to those who love me. Hehe.

Inspired by my best friend's wishlist (who is also celebrating her 20th birthday on October 18), ladies and gentlemen, here are few of the things I want for my birthday.

1. Bret Easton Ellis books

There is something about Bret Easton Ellis and his books. The first time I "met" Ellis was when I watched American Psycho. The movie was beautiful and I thought if it were, the book would also probably be awesome as the movie. Sadly, I haven't picked the book yet, but I already have one of his numerous books, The Informers. It did not disappoint. It further affirmed my love for the man. Unfortunately, not all of his books are sold here, or I haven't just paid too much attention in bookstores. Anyway, here's a run-through of his books and covers. You might see them and would want to get them for me. Hehe.

Clockwise: Glamorama, American Psycho, Rules of Attraction,
 Less than Zero, Lunar Park, and Imperial Bedroom
Six books. It isn't hard to get me one. :-)

There are still some bunch of books I want to have. To refresh your memory from last year

2. Stila Travel Palette

Stila Travel Palettes: Pretty in Paris and Road to Radiance Across the USA
I recently realised how important make-up is in my job. I was actually ecstatic when I got free lipsticks. Yes, congratulate me for owning more than just concealer and lip and cheek tint. I actually have two lipsticks! How awesome is that, right? (for the record, there is no sarcasm there). With all the events happening in the month of October (Fashion Week, Product Launch, Book Launch etc.) I think I need to learn how to glam myself up. But the thought of lugging around a lot of make-up kind of annoys me, that's why I am putting make-up palette here. If it weren't too much too ask, can I get any of these Stila Travel palettes? :-)

3. Christian Siriano for Payless shoes

L-R: Midnigth D'Orsay Evening Pumps, Royalty Satin Flats, and Parisienne Exotic Platform Pumps
It has been a month since Payless Shoe Source opened in Manila, but I still haven't seen any of Christian Siriano's shoe collection. They already gave a preview of his collection during the launch and I was really excited with these three pairs. I can't wait to have them! Sooner please? 

There are some more I just can't remember right now. This is just one of those spur-of-the-moment lists.

But I know I got one of the best birthday gifts to date. JackTV just returned to Sky Cable. This calls for a celebration.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Tooth of the Matter

I woke up yesterday morning with a slight pain coming from my right jaw. Thinking it was just something I got from my sleep (I tend to end up in awkward positions when I'm sleeping), I completely did not mind the pain and go about my activities for the day. That afternoon, still with a very painful right jaw, I went to my dentist to have my regular cleaning. I asked her if the pain has something to do with any parts and she said it isn't since she didn't see anything wrong like swelling gums, etc. She just told me that I have to have my wisdom tooth removed next time since it is growing in an angle that will cause bigger trouble like cyst or tumor in the future. Shivers. 

Honestly, I am not afraid of dentist and dentist sessions. In fact, I am more afraid of my dermatologist than my dentist (both of them are very good by the way). I also have no problems with getting my tooth extracted, probably because I can no longer remember how painful it was. My first (and last so far) teeth extraction happened when I was four years old. When most kids were happily enjoying (hehe did they really?) their baby teeth, I am already growing my permanent. It was a Friday night when I was scheduled to have four of my lower front teeth removed to give way to my growing permanent teeth, thus having unaligned set. I was told then to take good care of my teeth because I've had my permanent set at a very young age. Most of them had to be extracted to give way to the growing ones. At seven, all of my teeth were already permanent. Pressure. I had to take caution in eating sweets and anything hard. But that did not stop me. By the age 12, I had crowns because of the damage to my permanent teeth, which were taken in four weeks of going to and fro to dentists. It wasn't a breeze, I tell you.

Now I am giving too much information. 

This morning, I still woke up with the pain, worse than that of yesterday. I concluded that it comes from the growing wisdom tooth. I had to take a couple of pain killers and sleep so I could forget how painful it is, but it just won't cut. At the end of the day, when the pain killers had already lost their effect and the pain starts creeping again, you have no choice but to deal with it, until the new pain killer sets in. Much like how painful things happen. You can only mask it with "pain killers" but in few hours, days, weeks, and months, you have no choice but to face it. It's either you have it completely removed on one go, and deal with the post removal effect or go on and live with the pain until you are completely numb to feel it. I chose to mask it first now and undergo the one time, big time removal regardless if the swelling makes me look like a hamster. Now, I have to remember how painful it was and how the profuse bleeding almost made me think I was going to die anytime. Right now, I am constantly checking if my face is still proportion or I'm growing a second face in my right side jaw.

My dentist told me that I have high tolerance for pain. Maybe I do. Maybe I am a masochist who takes pleasure in pain, but how long will I be able to tolerate this?

Truth is, this is more than just the pain of the toothache.