Thursday, August 27, 2009


I never wrote about how much I like you.

It's probably because I was only allowed to like you from a distance. That in those days, if I allowed myself to just even think about you, it will cause hysteria. Being with someone who uncontrollably controls my life and someone who does not care as much as I care about him, you are a breath of fresh air.

For two years, I secretly liked you. Anticipating days when I can see you. Making sure we cross paths whenever I know we'd be in the same places. Devising plans just to get near you. For two years, I failed to even get near you for so many reasons.

But the two years of failures ended, when you and I, on a very miserable day found our hands intertwined. Holding hands never felt this warm and special until I held yours. I never wanted that night to end and it's unfortunate that It took floods and experience of getting stranded to made me realize how significant you are in my life. Our hands clasped together meant a union, finally coming to reality.

I anticipate more than two years with you. I can't imagine years of not having to hold your hand again because it's your hand that I wanted to hold in times of happiness and fear. I don't think my mind can still think of any plans to get near you if we get separated again. I don't think that I'll still believe in waiting for good things to come if I end up losing you. I can't imagine not having you in my life.

I look forward to the day when we'll finally be together and I can't wait to hold your hand, forever.

Saturday, August 22, 2009


I was staring at this blog post for a while now, thinking what to write. Obviously, this day sucks the most. Probably, topping the "Sucky Days List" If you wanna know what happened, here's a run down:
  • The Journalese Exams, Cancelled: Yessir! That one, that one which we planned for weeks got cancelled for the nth time. I don't know when we'll finally do it, but we have to have the exams ASAP because we're late, no TOO late for press work. And the waiting is fucking killing me. I want to meet the new staff, I want to work, I want this exam to be over with. Fuck Flood!
  • Night Plans, Cancelled: A lot of issues that I'd rather not talk about. Certainly, not happy with this one. I am not looking forward to another one though. As I said, not my type of crowd and I never really think I'd be there, anyway. No offence to my girls. I love you! I'm sorry!
  • The thought of going somewhere, but you can't: I want to get out of the city. If I weren't probably dating someone seriously now and that I have nothing to do for school and work, I would have probably be somewhere with Dave when he invited me. But I chickened out, because I am baduy like that.
  • If I can't go out of the city, I at least want to go somewhere other than HOME: don't get me wrong, I like staying in for weekends, but this week has been especially toxic that I wanted to go out. Tonight, TbC's playing and I can't go because I already cancelled this due to prior BV stuff. Loser.
To compensate to the BV- ness of this day, I'll listen to TbC instead, play Tetris, clean my room, and talk to Sweetheart, because he makes me happy.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Fear of Leaving

I wasn't scared about graduating. I think I finally deserve a break from the past 17 years of studying in school and begin a new phase in my life.

But Sir Baron changed everything awhile ago. Amidst his discussions about The Thomasian, with the word Red Images and PICC coming in the picture, it finally dawned on me that we, in less than seven months, are leaving the halls of UST to face the bigger world. It made me think, were the years I spent in UST enough to get as much knowledge that I need to face the workforce? Was I able to do the things that I wanted to do in the past four years? Have I fulfilled what was planned for me? What if the four years were not enough?

Too many questions, too many confusion.

Then suddenly, baffled with the thoughts of making the most out of my months in school, I realised that I'll be leaving a piece of my heart in UST. It scared me.

And up until now, I still don't know what to do.

Monday, August 17, 2009


I've decided to not attend my classes and stay home today.

It's probably because of the weather. It has been sunny for the past few days and suddenly, on a Monday morning, when everybody's supposed to go back and work, the rain started pouring and the temperature hits 24 degrees Celsius today, enough for some snuggling in the sheets.

It could be the all- work week I had. I was up and running for seven straight days, from Monday to Sunday, attending games, working on Thesis, going to classes, taking exams (that are actually extending this week) I felt I was robbed with the luxury of enjoying the weekends I used to ALWAYS have, now that school work occupies the entire week.

So today, with just a class to attend to, I've decided to hit the sack longer, stay in front of my computer and read things totally unrelated to school or work just to get my mind off them.

I've succeeded.

But my day has to be divided to school for now. With the pending exams to take, I know this is not the time to take things likely. Being a senior does not guarantee me of a sure slot come graduation day. Being a senior (and having the immunity from debarment) does not give me the right to slack off. Being a senior does not mean I can be lazy.

I've worked my way up here and I intend to work as hard, the way I did it in the past three years.

In the words of Jojie Lloren in Project Runway Philippines, Work, Work, Work!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Fashion Entry

Not much of a fashion savvy as most of people my age are, I rely mostly on fashion sites and magazines to brush up on my fashion knowledge. I try to see what's in style through people around the world that I dedicated a portion of my blog rolls to fashion (see bottom right) And though I admit I don't have much money to burn on clothes (lest I'd be very poor by now) I just look for inspirations and try to work on things that I have (or inherit from Mama or even Papa) and do some trick.

I see clothes and shoes as a work of art. Like houses and beautiful interior designs, I see beautiful silhouettes, high heels, color patterns, and beautiful workmanship as serious architecture. I go gaga with one of a kind styles, often bordering to crazy. But I admit I don't have the courage to wear such. I can say that my style only goes to classic cuts, basics like jeans, shirts, tailored polo, trousers, etc. The classic pieces are the fundamentals of fashion and you can jazz them up with accessories you can find in most clothing stores. I like the classic style because it never goes out of fashion and though they say it's boring, I say it isn't, just as long as you know how to work them.

I go colour crazy most of the time, buying bright red shoes, rainbow shirts, polka dotted heels that sometimes I regret I even have them. But in fashion, tomorrow is another day. You may hate those things you have right now (upon buying them on impulse) but there will come a time when you can use them again, hopefully, it still fits you. However, I noticed that most of the clothes that I like right now are in black and white colours. Too much French chic.

If I have a chance to raid a fashionista's closet, I'd probably go through the closets of the Olsen Twins, Sophia Coppola, Anne Hathaway, and Kate Moss. I also admire the fashion sense of Brit punk girls and All American girls from suburbs. I want Rachel Zoe and Tim Gunn to be part of my family so I can easily ask them for some fashion advice. And if I can hire a designer for life, I'd hire Zac Posen because he's downright awesome. I'd fill my shoes cabinet with pairs and pairs of killer heels, mostly of course will come from Christian Louboutin.

But no matter how much and who are the people you're wearing, it's not what matters to fashion. You can wear high street with thrifted, you can wear designers with hand me downs. With the right amount of inspiration and the genuine love for fashion, I guess the love for clothes goes beyond the act of wearing and sashaying. It's love for art, fashion is art.


Buy this month's issue of Preview magazine. I have it and believe me it's awesome. The articles are really well- thought of and written and the choices are exquisite. Goes well with the theme. It's a fashion magazine with a substance, at par with most international magazines I've seen.

Anyway, here's this month's issue of Preview with Carla Abellana as the cover girl.

And for the cheapskate like me, I promise, it's worth the P140 :)

Friday, August 7, 2009

RIP, John Hughes

John Hughes (1950- 2009)
At the time I came along, Hollywood's idea of teen movies meant there had to be a lot of nudity, usually involving boys in pursuit of sex, and pretty gross overall. Either that or a horror movie. And the last thing Hollywood wanted in their teen movies was teenagers!
John Hughes
The world is slowly losing its best people.

Just this morning, I heard that one of my favourite directors, John Hughes, died of Heart Attack.

Hughes' movies has huge impact on me seeing myself in most of the characters in his movies (like Andy of Pretty in Pink and Sam of Sixteen Candles both played by Molly Ringwald). He also sparked the rebellion with a cause in me with his movie, The Breakfast Club. (remember the letter they made to Mr. Vermon?) I remember having to go around most of the leading video stores in search of his movies (which I got by the way, but is now missing-- in another story).

It's really sad that people like him die early. They could have done more. While people with bad intentions, live longer. And can 2009 be more disappointing now?

But I believe that Hughes has lived his life fully. That in his lifetime, his movies transcended X and Y generations. He made adults realize that like them, Teens should be taken seriously because at some point, not everything is about them, it's about the youth. Give us time to grow, realize our mistakes, and live our life to the fullest. In time, we'll be who you want us to be, more responsible and strong enough to face the world.
My generation had to be taken seriously because we were stopping things and burning things. We were able to initiate change, because we had such vast numbers. We were part of the baby boom, and when we moved, everything moved with us.
John Hughes

Let me end this entry with the letter from The Breakfast Club written for Mr. Vermon
Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois. 60062.

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us... in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed.

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is ... a brain...
Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ...a princess...
John Bender: ...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Rest in Peace, John Hughes. You will be sorely missed.

It's sad that in two consecutive entries, I've written things about great people dying.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Icon

photo from PCIJ, edited.
I've been meaning to write this entry for the late President, but I can't find the right words to say, being taken over my emotions for the past few days.

I still cannot imagine how Philippines will be now that the icon of Democracy is now gone. The most beloved Corazon Aquino has now finally laid to rest after months of battling with Colon Cancer. Her death was sudden, it was in the morning of August 1 when her son, Noynoy announced that their mother passed away. The whole nation grieved with her loss.

scenes from Tita Cory's convoy, transfer from LSGH to Manila Cathedral (along Ayala Ave)
Now that the country lost its mother of Democracy, I think it's about time for us not to just stop and weep forever. It's the signal for us to stand up and fight for our country, lest we put to waste what this great woman fought for.

Good bye Tita Cory, you will be missed by this Nation forever.